well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
