Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i will never coherently bang her
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
