im having a threesome with these popsicles
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I pour the whiskey from now on
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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