you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
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