I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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