I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
this hospital has no fireball
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
