You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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