You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize