Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
