i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize