this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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