i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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