soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
