I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
