put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
