Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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