Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize