OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We don't watch enough power rangers
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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