WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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