I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
