I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
