did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
