I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize