very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
