she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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