Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
