I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
