yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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