hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
