@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
