Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Are we still banned from the library?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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