How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
