Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
