you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize