She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
