my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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