p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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