: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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