On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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