How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
