great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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