even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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