THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
