it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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