piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
