the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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