In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
