thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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