I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
