I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
