You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
