Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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