i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
