Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
