I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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