O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
