i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize