we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize